You might have heard of the painter Louis Wain. He became famous because of the story of how he tried to heal his wife from cancer. He noticed her deep love for cats, after he gifted her 'Peter' before she got sick. He then began painting her cats, which helped her cope with the pain.
I was really moved by this story and I think it showed everyone a glimpse of how a man can help his wife through breast cancer or even how women can help their husbands. We know a lot of men don't know what to do when their wife is diagnosed with breast cancer.
They struggle with the loss for words and not being able to deal with difficult situations and that's okay, it is really hard. However, maybe some of these 7 tips can help you cope and reach your aim at supporting your wife through breast cancer.
1. Pain and Constant Fatigue
This is one of the hardest things to go through on an emotional and physical level. Breast cancer patients or even breast cancer survivors go through a lot of pain and the smallest flight of stairs can be exhausting for her. So, it is better accommodate things to make her life easier and be there for physical support, even if it is to carry her when she's in pain and needs to rest.
2. Stay Away from Medical Terms
The doctor will probably use a lot of medical terms describing what she will be going through. It is best to steer clear of these terms and avoid emphasizing on the terms depression, fatigue, or in general saying "you look tired". Try to be the person she goes to for a more positive boost, instead of having her feel even more tired and upset about what she's going through.
3. There's Nothing You Can Do
It is completely normal to feel hurt and sad that you feel helpless and that there's nothing you can do for her except be by her side, silently. Try not to feel guilty and just try to comfort her, even by simply reminiscing about funny moments or tell her about your day, just anything to distract her from the pain.
Whether she's a cancer patient or survivor, it is essential to make her feel wanted and to satisfy her needs. Be wary that she might be feeling self conscious around you, so make sure you remind her that she's sexy and make her feel sexy. If she's unable to have sex, you can make sure she gets sexually satisfied by trying out different sexual acts that won't require a lot of physical effort.
This is a very important moment in your kids' lives and it's okay to show vulnerability and sadness to your kids. However, try not to make them scared or feel anxious all the time. Try to keep a positive energy around your home most of the time. Also, don't forget to inform their school, so they can understand any lag in their performance.
6. Get Creative
Even though she's surrounded by loved ones most of the time, she still needs you the most. So talk to her, take her out to dinner or get creative with your romantic dates, even if it is with the simplest ways. Those little things will affect her happiness and help her get better.
7. Does She Love Work and Her Job?
Some breast cancer patients experience prolonged, week long, fatigue and exhaustion after a chemotherapy session. However, others start to feel better after 2 or 3 days. So if your wife loves her job and it brings her a lot of joy and positive energy, then support her and motivate her to go back to work when she wants to. This will also really help her to feel stronger and not as sick or weak.